Love Letters to our Parts: Progress of Women's Sports Coverage
Hello lovelies,
The writer and speaker, Liz Gilbert, encourages a regular practice of writing love letters to our young, tender parts from our loving, adult, wise Self. Excessive terms of endearment are heartily encouraged—the more sweet, sappy and personalized, the better. Lean into your unconditionally loving, ideal-parent energy. Sweet one, darling, honey bear, schmoopie (any Seinfeld fans?), tender heart, cutiepie, sweet pea…
What do your parts love to be called?
Pour it on. Let them hear it! They soak it up, trust me.
It is amazing how the act of writing to our parts gives us space and breathing room to see them more clearly—such a sweet process of gently unblending. I prefer to write these love letters longhand with a nice pen and paper because it slows me down and feels more personal and direct. A slightly less concrete, but helpful process is speaking out loud to our parts when we’re driving, walking or (for me), cycling. That feels like a good warm-up, trial run before the writing.
Incidentally Liz knows IFS well and did an interview with Dick and Tami Simon where she respectfully declines Dick offering to work with her parts. Liz didn’t have permission from her Protectors to do any work then and there and she spoke for them. I’ve never witnessed someone declining the IFS master offering to work with them and appreciated the refreshing example of honoring our protectors/gate keepers and saying no, thank you!
May we all be so clear and direct in speaking for our parts and protecting our own protectors!
Listen to Liz, Dick and Tami's interview here:
https://join.soundstrue.com/watch-richard-schwartz-elizabeth-gilbert/
You have to sign up with your email to watch the full interview on Sounds True
Or watch the first 15 minutes on YouTube (but I think you’ll want to hear the whole thing!)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGfrJu-Ck8o
It’s hard to send a Pause out this week and not mention the NCAA basketball tournament—notably the national support and media attention finally being paid to female athletes. For the first time ever (I think?) the women’s championship game today will be broadcast on a national network, 12pm PT on ABC!
Are you kidding me? Are you watching?! The men’s championship game on Monday isn’t even being broadcast on a national network. This feels surreal. The numbers of viewers for the women’s tournament is breaking all records. That’s progress!
My parts and I have been nothing short of stunned and overwhelmed with joy, pride and relief to see and experience the energy and respect towards these female athletes. It's about time.
(The magenta photo on the left came from Nordic skier phenomenon, Jessie Diggins, after a world cup win in her home state of Minnesota soil February. How 'bout that?!)
If you’re on social media, you may have witnessed my absolute thrill over this long-overdue phenomenon. I can’t help it; I’ve waited a lifetime to experience this. I confess that sadly I don’t follow women’s sports as closely as I would like, largely because, like you, I can’t access the events except to read a race summary if I’m lucky after the fact. Our home has never had more than basic cable TV so watching events live is challenging, if not impossible. Female athletes are used to playing to empty gyms, stadiums, racing on empty roads; we don’t know anything different.
Until more recently as the tide is starting to turn!
Our Gonzaga women’s team reached its highest seed (#4) in program history and played the first 2 tournament rounds in our sold-out GU Bulldog Kennel (arena) with a deafening crowd of 6000 fans! When we first moved to Spokane in 2003 they couldn’t give away women’s basketball tickets. I unexpectedly got to attend our team win their Sweet 16 Appearance with my father, who has modelled, inspired and supported my athletic pursuits which began in the sixth grade.
Dad began running in his 40s and encouraged my brother and me to enter an upcoming 10K run with him. All I had to do was finish and I’d win something, since only one other girl had registered. Covering my first 6.2 miles alone on foot never felt so far as I plodded along desolate Sunday morning, dry Arizona roads under the blazing sun.
But Dad was right! I came home with a 2nd place ribbon (yeah, she beat me) and my first experience of amazingly sore, stiff legs. But this was the start to a lifetime of athletic pursuits. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned that movement, sports, training, competition--all of it-- has been a source of important self care, community, identity and healing. I wouldn’t be who I am today without these athletic experiences.
Living with inequality and advocating for parity in women’s sports is all I’ve ever known. Yes, we’ve come a long way the past 50 years, and there’s still work to do. But today I hope we can focus on how far we’ve come. It feels like a long overdue miracle, although this coverage and respect did not happen without decades of hard work and a gradual cultural shift of respecting female athletes as equals. YES!
Reflect on which women past or present inspire you?
In what ways?
And in the spirit of doing hard things and empowering women's voices, it seems only fitting to include Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach and Sister's recent podcast interviews with our very own, Dick Schwartz on their podcast:
We Can Do Hard Things!
Yes. You. Can.
This is pretty exciting as IFS comes to Glennon, Abby and sister!
In Part 1 Dick does a demo with Glennon regarding her disordered eating system. She's so open and brave. You can feel the sweet, playful, supportive connection between all 4 of them.
Dick also gives a super helpful, concise overview of the Model. Glennon asks him to explain it to a 3rd grader and he reminds us kids digest this model much quicker than adults and all our thinking parts!
As an IFS therapist, I wait, watch and wonder which next celebrity will get a taste of this transformational, life-changing model and start sharing it with the world. We hear about these discoveries more often than ever, and it's truly exciting--changing the world, one part at a time!
Years ago I started writing a letter to Oprah with pure excitement about this non-pathologizing approach to food and eating. I wanted her to know about IFS. Of course, I never felt good enough about the letter to send. :(
I still don't know if she knows about IFS, but it has been the most effective and life-giving approach to working with extreme Protectors like restrictive and bingeing parts that I've ever discovered. It has changed so many lives it gives me goosebumps. This is not a battle with ED (the eating disorder). It's a process of befriending ED! Imagine that!
Enjoy listening. So grateful for this one and all the other IFS podcasts out there in the world.
Part 1 Interview with Dick working with Glennon:
Part 2 interview when Dick works with Abby and Sister
May we remember and celebrate the mighty, resilient, brave, strong females who have inspired us as well as those we have inspired and believed in.
I hope you'll let them know how they've impacted you if you haven't already.
Here's me digging deep at the fourth and final day of the Fitchburg, MA, Stage Race in the early 2000s. I was mentored by a range of people to get me to this point, most notably hubby, Erik, who I hold responsible for introducing me to my cycling addiction! I cherished being in the company of such strong, brave women.
Thanks for pausing with me. I welcome your replies, questions, requests and comments. Replying to this mailing comes directly to me.
in health and gratitude,
